Not a loner, just lonely

My mother has always been the type of person who loves to give unwarranted advice. God knows I don't always enjoy listening, but in the end I love her for it. Since I was in kindergarten my mother has told me the same thing, "If you ever see someone sitting by themselves, especially at lunch, invite them to sit with you. Give them a friend." This was a lesson that was engrained into my head by my mother. She wanted to push me to be a better person. By the time I was in 6th grade my mother's words of wisdom had seeped their way into my soul and I was ready to do as my mother had always said to do. Every day the same girl in my class walked through her day talking to no one in particular. She went to the cafeteria, got her food and sat by herself. One day as I knew most of my friends wouldn't be able to sit with me I gained the courage to be the person my mother had always asked me to be. I walked right over to her and asked if she wanted to eat lunch with me. She smiled and said yes. I remember feeling nervous even asking her. Her answer made me feel so relieved. It is odd looking back thinking that I was worried about being rejected by the girl who had never sat with anyone. I learned something from her that day. It was about 3 months into the school year when I finally asked her to sit with me. That doesn't seem like so long, except that I was the first person in our school to even bother talking to her or introducing myself. No one else had bothered to say hello or even put an ounce of effort into making the new girl feel welcome. I made a friend that day. Someone I would be close to through middle school and high school. Someone who I am friends with today. Without whom I would have shared less inside jokes, less secrets and less sleepovers. My mother wasn't just giving me advice so that other people would feel included, she was giving me advice that would change my life. It is because of that day and that advice that I don't fear talking to new people or walking up to someone who is alone and asking to learn about their life. You'll be surprised. Each time I took this advice I made a new friend and gained new experiences that I will always be thankful for. So, if you ever see anyone who is by themselves, ask them to talk or hang out or each lunch..... it is more likely than not that they aren't a loner, just lonely.   

Lizards are in solitary confinement

What is it about humans that makes us need human contact? It is literally a punishment for us to be left alone. It's called solitary confinement and it drives people crazy. But honestly why is it that we feel that we NEED other human contact to stay sane? Animals can go days without contact. Think about it, we put lizards or snails or ginny pigs or snakes or fish in a tank. We don't play with them. We don't talk to them. We treat them as we do the prisoners in solitary confinement and yet you don't see a lizard hitting it's head off the side of its tank desperately trying to kill itself from insanity. I guess it just amazes me that with our intelligence also comes this need for compassion and contact. I think that is what really sets us apart from nature, our need to be together.  

Wedding Season

My brother pointed something out to me. He said that weddings are a sham. While at first hearing this statement I wanted to argue with him. I wanted to point out that weddings are beautiful ceremonies and that they represent the love that two people share and the bond that they will (hopefully) have for a lifetime. But as my brother tends to do he took his crazy, out of place statement and threw me right over to his side. Think about this. The wedding industry tries to scam you. Women spend thousands of dollars on dresses. Have you ever seen "Say Yes to the Dress"? On average these women spend $3500, and there have been times where I saw women purchasing dresses up to $18,000. I'm sorry honey, but the material for your dress (no matter how "designer" it is) does not cost $18,000! Your dress is not made out of diamonds or Emeralds. It isn't plated with gold or platinum. NO single dress should EVER cost $18,000, especially not one that will only ever be worn once. Pushing past the dresses just look at everything else. The flowers you buy for a wedding are 4 times the price that the flowers would be if they were specified for any other event. However the florist gets away with it because they know you need flowers for your big day and trust me, they are ready to take advantage. How about the venue? One, it is necessary for them to charge you to rent their space. That is understandable. But wait, you want the big hall? OH!!!! Yeah  that is going to cost you an extra $10,000. And here is how they really get you. If they want to really make money off of you then they will require that all food be from their venue. That's right. They have no problem telling you that you cannot hire someone else to cater. Why would they let you do that when they could make that much more money? Ok good. Now you are only going to get your food from our venue? Perfect. Except that a meal per person at a wedding is going to be at least $80 per plate. Oh wait, now you want to use the good plates? Yup that is going to cost you another $20 per plate. Yeah so you might want to cut down that guest list because if you want to feed them you will be spending about $100 per plate. Yummy. Now let's think for a second about the photographer. He spends absolutely no money on materials. Yes, he bought his camera, but considering how many jobs he has gotten done with it that thing makes him more than he spent. He spend NO money on film. Now all they use is digital. The only money he spent was on gas. So are paying him thousands of dollars for his time, plus then you have to pay more for every picture that you want to purchase that he took. Yes, he should be paid. But let's be honest, he too, like the florist and the dress maker and the venue owner is taking advantage of you and charging you more than necessary.Don't get me wrong. I love weddings. I will go out there like every other person and I will spend that money on the perfect dress and venue and food and photographer and flowers.... but that doesn't change the fact that I know they are ripping me off for a nasty profit. Here's to hoping it all ends up worth it ^_^